Subsistence Farming - Hawaii

one of my favorite things that i have done in my life was when i left taos (and all the obligations and commitments i had there) to go somewhere with the sole purpose of not making any commitments. i came to hawaii on a sabatical (i called it). and totally enjoyed the freedom of being a wanderer. it reminds me of the time in san jose. we sold the house because we bought a house in santa cruz. that sale fell thru and so we went from being home owners to renters again. rarely do you “downgrade” from owning to renting. its anti-american dream! but being a renter again was glorious. for the first time, since becoming a homeowner in san jose, i realized i had my weekends free again. no endless trips to home depot for the relentless fixing up the house! what fun to be without the burden of a house.

before moving here, it had always been a recurring thought for me to escape, to disappear from my “regular” life. or at least disappear from the obligations of my regular life.

like having your computer crash, your cell phone get run over, your car break, etc but all in a way that you don’t have to fix them. like you were on a plane and it had to land because of a sick passenger on some remote island and you couldn’t take off for months. no one could contact you, ask anything of you, tell you any bad news…. (and somehow no one was worrying because everyone knew you were alright). how to extricate yourself from a life that has started to run you?
i said to scott today, after talking to my sister on the phone “for how long are kath and i going to tell ourselves and each other that we are going to put ourselves first and then go on not doing it?”