Subsistence Farming - Hawaii

marshall rosenberg Non Violent Communication.

we have been listening to a series of audio cds of marshall describing nvc and examples of how he has used it. it is such a different experience than reading the book (for me). my focus has been to be clear about what is a need, what is a judgment, what is a feeling, what is a strategy etc and communicate “correctly”. however it has quickly come to my attention that the energetics of how we are communicating expresses so much more than the process. I can say in correct nvc process: when you said you would not clean the pan for me i felt angry because my need for cooperation was not being met. BUT i would be screaming: i hold you responsible for making me feel this way and i expect you to clean it up by addressing my needs now. i think i would be connected to my responsibility for my feelings and needs if i rephrased things and said instead: when you said you would not clean the pan for me, i take responsibility for my anger. my anger was because i interpreted/judged that you were really saying you don’t give a shit about me or our family agreements. that may not be an accurate interpretation. my need for cooperation is important to me and i want to take responsibility for getting that need met and i want to be connected with you. so, would you be willing to tell me what was really going on for you when you said no to cleaning the pan?

that is what i noticed listening to marshall. that he often was not doing nvc exactly “right” semantically but his energetics were all about his responsibility and his freedom of choice.

big wind storm here. it blew the tarp off the kite house. did we cut down too many trees?

the young goat doe note (italian for night) fell in the crevice but it was an easy rescue.

we got two more wild hens for the intern homestead. the rooster and girls are all doing really well. one hen lays an egg each day in a milk carton by jim’s door. we have eggs a plenty. java’s (the arabian horse) knee is healing really well. she still has an ugly scar but no lameness. lauren has been taking lots of walks and jogs.

lauren and i are doing jane goodall’s curriculum called roots and shoots for our ecology block. very fun, inspiring and thought provoking.

the bus did indeed come to the mailboxes. today is the second day of service. that will make things easier for a lot of us. we got the truck fixed for under $100!

pigeon pea season is coming to an end, we have some abiu’ss going off, avocados are still keeping us fed. our beans on the wire trellis’ are starting to produce which is exciting. jen planted the intern garden with lots of kale, eggplant, onions, other brassicas and i have more starts getting ready.

we just lost a chick to a hawk yesterday. we have 8 duck eggs being sat on by two hens (4 each). i hope we can get them big enough to fend off a hawk. dublin (goat buck) is still with us but we learned that bucks are NOT meant to live with the herd. they are loners and in the wild, the lead doe only lets one buck into the herd when it is mating time and then she boots him out. they don’t even live in bachelor groups. so we really blew it by having dublin with the girls from the start. he got domesticated. does are not supposed to be harassed 24-7 by a buck. we have to figure that out still. most likely we will let him roam outside the pasture of does. hopefully he will stay nearby.

i hope that one day when it feels inspiring you find your way back to us.