Subsistence Farming - Hawaii

We have been computerless for almost 2 months! What a good way to take a look at my relationship with email, the internet. I got to notice that in the first week without a computer I felt panic and played solitaire a lot!

In November Scott and I made the decision to stop driving our truck with the intention of moving closer towards our goal of getting our basic/recurring needs met within our “village” which we define as within biking distance. So far the experiment has been a success. We have on 3 occasions borrowed or rented a vehicle (getting my folks to and from the airport) and once we hired a friend with a big truck to pick up some building materials for us. Our hope is that once we get our farm “built” (structures and infrastructures) we won’t need to borrow or hire a vehicle anymore. The process brought more panic at first but now it seems pretty easy.

Our biggest news is the Non Violent Communication (nvc) class we have been taking. I had previously read the book, taken a workshop and had an informal practice group. But I am almost in shock when I realize how far from the truth of nvc my previous practices have been. Our nvc teacher is flying off to India tomorrow! We will miss her but our class has chosen to continue to meet and follow the nvc workbook she used. This teacher has worked directly with Marshall Rosenberg and I believe that is why she absorbed the material as a heart process not head process (as I learned). I have had one “ah-ha” with each class.

Here is something we recently learned in class: anger is not exactly a feeling, it is a more of a strategy for getting a need met. Anger is what happens when we do not know how to be assertive. Anger is like a feeling that has attached to it a judgment about someone else. “I am angry because I am telling myself that so and so did not meet me for our lunch date BECAUSE they blew me off, I’m not important to them……..” The big owie is really what comes after the BECAUSE. I played with that in my head for awhile. It still works on me. I believe I am dredging up some core stuff for myself.

With the level of commitment I have in my relationship with Scott, with my personal commitment for connection with myself I am not surprised at what is coming up. Deep stuff about me not being able to keep holding a connection.
I am rereading The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram. I thought I was a “5″ until noticing that after reading about a “4″ I felt completely sunk. I said to myself “How can anyone reveal more about me than I know myself ?”(a dumb question, but it was my first reaction).